THE PACK Message Boards

Due to the level of websurfing I do (and the activity of my funny bone), I thought that I would find a place to put various jokes that I come across. Feel free to contribute if you have anything.


Divert Your Course

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio converstaion released by the chief of naval operations 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: Recommended you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.
AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Van Gogh's Family Tree (Gogh is pronounced as "go")

His dizzy aunt -- Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes -- Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store -- Stop N. Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia -- U Gogh

The cousin from Illinois -- Chica Gogh

His magician uncle -- Where Diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin -- A. Mee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother -- Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach -- Wells Far Gogh

The constipated uncle -- Cant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt -- Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle -- Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst -- E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin -- Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking -- Way To Gogh

The little bouncy nephew -- Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco -- Go Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in a van -- Winnie Bay Gogh

....And there ya Gogh!

What happens when you're away from your computer...

http://www.xs4all.nl/~jvdkuyp/flash/see.htm

Ever wondered why Douglas Adams picked 42?

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan. ... 7b27808692

Something unprintable, no doubt.

heh....thats funny..