THE PACK Message Boards

Ralith Lupus wrote:What about wanting to wear headgear made of a celestial body?

@Scott: Of course, let us not forget the Creationists, who theorize that the entire galaxy is composed of the remains of a rather catastrophic snack had by the gods six thousand years ago.

Apokryltaros wrote:I'm certain that the expiration date has passed.

Scott Gardener wrote:Does this mean that walking by the cheese section will force a shapeshift?

We do know that cheese cured at least one werelagomorph, but Wallace of Wallace and Grommit fame is a notorious cheese addict, and among other things an astronaut who has flown at least one successful moon landing.

As for a model of how a blue cheese moon came about...

4.6 billion years ago, while the solar system was still cooling into individual planets from a consolidated accretion disk, a large celestial body made of milk collided with the Earth. It is speculated that our galaxy is filled with many of such bodies, accounting for the visible light spectrum readings across the galactic plane, visible at night with the naked eye.

This body in the course of the collision picked up bacteria from Earth, initiating a violent reaction of volcanic activity, geologic plate tactonics, and fermentation.

The Moon was Pasteurized by a series of collisions with comets, and around 2.6 billion years ago, its core had formed butter, while a thin crust of curds had formed above the whey mantle. Then, as recent evidence has suggested, a catastrophic impact by a large asteroid led to the formation of the Outer Rind in what has come to be known as the Winsleydale / Gouda event. Following this, it was only a matter of time before the entire Moon had become cheese.

Jupiter's moon Io contains a certain volume of cheese as well, though its primary composition is a tomato sauce layered over Italian bread, with pepperoni.

Given the cracker composition of Mars, it is easy to see the benefits of NASA's "Moon, Mars, and Beyond" initiative, an outline for curing the world's hunger, first with snacks and hors d'ouvers, and then eventually with a veritable main course throughout the outer Solar System.

Lupin wrote:

Apokryltaros wrote:I'm certain that the expiration date has passed.

It's vacuum sealed, for freshness.